January 24, 1945 Wednesday

Morning, Hon-

Just a note to say I love you and that everything is fine here. Boy, I live the life of Riley—don’t even have to get dressed when I roll out in the morning. Just lay there and think about what I’d like to do most. This morning it’s a short line to you and then to read Whitaker’s “You Can’t Escape History.” Feeling diplomatic this morning.

______

It’s evening now, Dear, and I have had a good day. Read as I planned this morning, and then in the afternoon I got hold of a copy of Benet’s “A Book of Americans,” a funny little book of poems on people in American history. I read it all, and enjoyed it as I do all of Stephen Benet’s books. He puts a real flavor & life into U.S. history, don’t you think?

Came across Captain Drass of A Company as I wandered thru a ward today. We had a good talk about our recent experiences—I find more people I know here. I am one of the few that can walk O.K., so I have a regular visiting list—Lt. Ferris, a replacement who had the 1^stplat of C Company a few days (a good Joe, reminds me of Justin); Lt. Turley, who led the tank platoon I worked with; Ernie Shelton, whom I met here, and now Capt. Drass. We swap yarns and quite a time.

Also today, I started exercising the fingers of my left hand by playing around with a pencil. They are plenty stiff, as you can imagine. They all work O.K., tho, just a little sluggish. And that little finger is still numb as can be. Doc says the nerve to it must be banged up a bit. Aside from a little soreness around the wound, that’s all I can think of to grouse about. I must be getting better—altho I can see that I am in paradise here, I am beginning to find things like that to complain about. People just can’t appreciate being well off can they? If we all had wings we’d complain that the feathers weren’t long enough!

Let’s discuss post-war plans tonite, huh? I love to do that, and the more clear our aims are, the better we will be able to act when the time comes. Let’s see, the first thing when I get back to the states will be to get together just the quickest way we can—and stay together if it the least bit possible. Maybe we could meet in New York where I disembark—maybe spend a day or two there & have some celebrations with Laura & Justin. Then we could take off for home, see the folks for a day or two & then retire by ourselves for another honeymoon in Boston for a week or so. We could stop in Boston on our way up from New York, but I expect the folks will be anxious to see us, so we better fulfill our duties before we withdraw to ourselves! Our honeymoon in Boston will be one of those perfect periods—like the other one, or New Orleans. We won’t need to get “re-acquainted,” we are far too close for that; but just as a reward for being long apart. 

Then we’ll come back to earth, or at least part way, and scoot up around UNH to see Dr. Carroll & get some data on the educational situation. I have mentioned, haven’t I, that I would like very much to pull a quick one and get my master’s degree immediately upon returning to civilian life. I think it can be done because we will have some money laid aside, “veterans benefits” will be going full steam, we won’t be settled or committed to anything else ourselves, & it would be a good way to re-contact the circles we want to be in. You can see the difficulties of breaking into education when I first get back, and also, the dangers of trying something else for awhile—it would be so much harder to return to studies. Say then, we plan on from 9 months to a year of study, readjustment, and angling for opportunity. May be hard to do, but I think it is worth shooting at. During that time we can arrange our next step—teaching (H.S.), instructing & studying at a university, or whatever comes along. At any rate, we’ll try to be together thru all of it, and that alone will make it all good and easy. Of course, there will be other problems, but they’ll seem easy with what we’ll have on the ball. As I have said, we’re no ordinary couple—together we’re unbeatable.

I love you a thousand times,

Wallace.

January 23, 1945 Tuesday

Darling-

You see, again I am able to keep my promise to write again. Seems so good! I succeeded also today in buying some airmail envelopes, so things are shaping up. I did all I planned for today, except see the Finance Officer and that can wait all right. Big, good-natured Ernie Shelton was moved upstairs today because they have to start him on penicillin shots. Down here we are in a no-treatment ward, and scarcely see a medic all day. I like that.

Rebound thoughts still come to me from Day’s “Simian World,” altho today I have been reading a short story by Thomas Mann, my Whitaker’s recent history, and (as literature) a copy of the Gospel of St. Mark. I just love this chance to read again. Day had some challenging points in his book. He said curiosity & gregariousness (or chatter) were the outstanding human traits and ones that could if organized bring the race to undreamed of heights. Curiosity leads to a search for truthand gregariousness to group effort or brotherhood. See how that begins to look like our own base points? They are both essential to a better race. Brotherhood because only by working for the race as a whole do we have the chance of infinite progress or, if you wish, immortality. Up at the front, too, you can see the importance of living a life dedicated to something bigger than yourself. The men who consider their own bodies the most important things in the world, cut a pretty poor picture there. You can spot them at once—cowering, frightened, ignominious, despised, tremendously unhappy. Men who waited too long to find out how frail and fleeting a thing one body is—how futile to make it the basis of your philosophy. The idea of selfishness looks ridiculous and silly—and it shows up so very plainly under fire. Others, who based their lives on a purpose or an ideal that they know will go on even if they don’t, shared a very different feeling at the front. While they may not have been happy, they were at least in harmony with themselves—and basically content. In addition, that feeling of brotherhood is a positive emotion in itself, a self-rewarding one. I have been very impressed lately watching those who are leading “dedicated lives”—that’s the latest phrase I have been using to describe it. Such people find life much more rewarding.

Day also covered a lot on the search for the truth and the rewards we get from it. Aside from the obvious physical rewards of increased ease & comfort, I always ask where the search will lead us ultimately. What are the undreamed of heights that we may rise up to? That is a question that cannot be answered completely. For one thing, it is like demanding an answer before the question has been investigated—the search for truth seeks to answer that question. Religion and philosophy often try to answer it and succeed only in making out search of truth prejudiced & unreal. We set out to confirm a conviction rather than find an answer. Day has some good satire on this in his chapters on religion.

Another thing, it is impossible to answer this question absolutely, because it is not a question of mankind reaching a definite, prescribed goal. As surely as this is a real world, it is an infinite one. If it is real, it is run by the natural laws of cause and effect. Causes must precede effects.

Since each cause is also the effect of a preceding cause, we have an eternal precedence of causes; thus, infinity. (Hon, if you can follow that, you’re on your way to being a real philosopher!). Now with infinity postulated, you can see the impossibility of an absolute goal for mankind. Rather it must be an infinitely expanding purpose—one that can never reach an end, since infinity has no end. I always add at this point that no one can really comprehend that, because a finite human cannot possibly comprehend infinity. Logic leads us to believe it inevitably, however, so it doesn’t matter. The massof mankind does have immortality (or infinity) but not individuals.

Well, then, what can we say of Day’s “undreamed-of heights”? If we don’t know what they are, are they worth seeking? Certainly. A child who likes a child’s song, continues his study of music because each step brings him to a greater appreciation of music. Each step is rewarding in itself, & gradually he comes to a point where he can appreciate a symphony. He hasn’t know what was ahead at each step; or if he had heard the symphony at first, he may have decided it was nothing worth working for. So with people. Life is abundant & harmonious to an extent now. As we grow in knowledge & understanding both will increase—infinitely. Life will be more abundant, more rewarding, and we will come to understand and come into harmony with more & greater forces in the world. And it will go on infinitely, getting ever deeper, richer. As in music, the harmonies of today were not understood yesterday. So with men, we cannot see what the rewards & understandings of tomorrow will be. We only know they will be greater than those we have. We go on to “more abundant & harmonious lives of comprehension, sympathy, & pleasure.” Comprehension comes from knowing the truth, sympathy from love, and pleasure from both.

All my love,

Wallace.

January 23, 1945 Tuesday

Dearest Marjorie,

Yesterday was passed in a big, white billowy cloud. So tho I thought of you, I couldn’t have written [even] if I had had some stationery. At 8 o’clock Ernie Shelton and I reported to surgery and they immediately gave us some morphine and put us on an operating table. That’s when I got on the cloud. I floated around semi-conscious for quite some time, enjoying the sensations no end. Then they squirted that other stuff into my left arm and I was really out until almost supper time. They did wake me up for supper, but I still didn’t have the slightest idea what I was eating. I haven’t seen it, but I understand they sewed up my “laceration”—at least it is a helluva lot more sore than it was. The ward boy says I put up quite a fight to take my bandage off at one time. He said he wasn’t sure who was going to win. Finally they wrapped my right hand all up in a big wad of cloth, and I came to with that on. I didn’t sleep too well last night because of the soreness, but that is inevitable, I suppose. Today I plan to see if I can’t get a haircut—my moustache sure needs trimming about now. I really have more than an “incipient growth” now, and am quite attached to it. Also I am going to try to see a finance officer and get started on getting some more identification papers. I lost my wallet with all that stuff, you know. I ain’t got nothin’, Hon. No bedroll, no clothes, no footlocker. I did hang on to your wool knit helmet and a pair of O.O. pants—also 3 white handkerchiefs Ma sent me for Xmas. Today, too, I will write to the company to find out what I can. Your mail will come thru in time, I know, but I can see that it will be some time before they get my whereabouts straightened out. I am patient and philosophical, however. Time will make everything right.

I am going now to get at some of these things. I will write again soon, honey, and tell you much more—I love you as I am sure you love me.

All yours, always,

Wallace

January 21, 1945 Sunday

Dear Folks,

There is very little news to write you today, but for once I cannot say truthfully that I am too busy to write. I have written Marjorie all the details of my life since I became a hospital habitué, and she has no doubt passed them on to you.

I am reveling in this ultra-modern, comfortable general hospital. Heavenly is the only word for it after being so long under the exposures of winter fighting. I just sleep & sleep. Then eat, then read a little, write a little and sleep some more. Ah beds, ah pillows, ah warm rooms! I hope I stay here a long time. Won’t be too long tho, with a scratch like mine. I haven’t had a sick or painful day with it—so this is like a rest camp for me and I appreciate it as such.

How is everything on the home front? I do like to hear from you—Ma’s letters are just naturally a hunk of 23 Pleasant St. and receiving one is almost as good as spending an evening at home. I can’t remember of ever acknowledging the occasional letters Pa has sent—I can realize how great the pressure on him must have been, and I can follow his viewpoint about Ma’s letters representing him. In fact, I can see a lot of Pa’s viewpoints now. As somebody else has said, it’s surprising how much father has learned since Iwas 18. I rather think we’ll have some good talks when I get home again. Meantime, I hope Marjorie can hold up my end of the conversation for me.

Ma, you always claim an interest in my daily life, so here goes. I live in a room with 2 other wounded lieutenants—Ernie Shelton from Missouri and Hughs from South Carolina. We live in our pajamas and eat from trays at 8, 12, & 5. Our duties are nil, but we do censor mail when and if we want to. We go down to the radio for latest news reports, read, write, and talk about the war on this front. These men were with the 7th Army, too, so we have had many experiences in common. Two other things I do—wash up daily, and try to chew enough gum & smoke enough cigarettes to keep ahead of all the good people who insist on giving us these items. It is impossible, I have a big bagful in store already.

Those pictures of the whole family you sent me in that Xmas box were excellent, I thought. I hope they are still with the company, but right now I haven’t even got a dog tag, so you can see how hard up I am for equipment! I am completely in the hands of Uncle Sam for re-supply of everything now.

Let me know how Carl, Big Russ and you are all faring.

Your loving son, Wallace.